Spice of Life
by theobsessive-compulsive reader
Summary: With a career as a doctor on hold and a career as a private investigator in the process, Darien is forced back into the light of a male stripper. After being run over by a smart mouthed, ditzy girl, the lives of both go on one hell of a ride.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story is still in the works and will move quickly. :) Um besides this story joining the many others, I truly hope you guys enjoy reading it. Any mistakes, holler. :D. I will try to update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter one: One total spunk**

"Guess what girls? I just booked the hottest, most devastating male stripper for Rei's hen's night! Come see!" Molly giggled as a herd of the invites stampeded to her cubicle leaving the much quieter ones behind. Sharing a look, Amy and Serena smiled at one another before going back to work.

"Mmmmmmmmm, will ya look at that?" Lita moaned as she leaned closer, her fingers trailing over the image of the oiled, well muscled man. "Now that is what I call one hunk of man,"

"Yeah and will you look at his abs? God damn, what I would do to lick him clean," Molly drooled, wiping a trickle of saliva from her mouth.

"He can do me any day,"

"And will you look at the size of his package? Rub that baby against me and I'll be ready to spread my legs and give him the time of his life!"

Cringing at the crudeness of the hormonal women, Serena pursed her lips, frowning. Honestly, women can be so...embarrassing. Luckily for her, she didn't need a real man to get her off her rocks. With her fictional characters and vibrators, she was one happy camper.

Looking over her shoulder at her two closest friends, Lita grinned as she waved a hand, beckoning them to come over.

"Hey you two, come over here will ya? You gotta see this guy. He is one total spunk!"

"No thanks, Lita, I'd rather prefer to stay here," Amy said primly. "Unlike some people, I have work to do."

Hiding a smile at the typical response from the busy body, Serena raised a brow as Lita shifted her gaze.

"Come on Serena. I know you're curious. Get your butt over here and do some ogling. Who knows, maybe you can use him for your wet dreams?"

As the crowd around the desk laughed, Serena stuck out her tongue. "You're so funny Lita, I'm dying of laughter," she called sarcastically as she pushed back from the desk. "Alright, I'm coming over. I wanna see what's so special about this low-life stripper,"

"Atta, girl, I'd knew you give in," Lita grinned as she turned back to the screen.

Walking up to the workstation, Serena peered over the shoulders of her colleagues and stared at the full blown image on the screen. With striking dark blue eyes, floppy, black hair and gorgeous skin, the man was unbelievably handsome. "Wow," she said simply as she looked him over.

"See, what I mean? A total spunk," Lita gushed dreamily.

Rolling her eyes, Serena prodded her in the back. "Stop drooling. You're leaving finger marks all over Molly's precious computer,"

"I am so not!"

"Well you're definitely doing something," Molly complained. "My screen's all fogged up,"

"Yeah because I farted,"

As the crowd erupted with cries of disgust, the women ran for their life. Everyone knew Lita's silent killers were the worst. With everyone at their desk, their faces half covered by makeshift masks, the manager of the department walked in after morning tea and raised a brow at her mask covered employees. With a swift look at the one and only culprit, she took in one breath of air and placed a finger under her nose. "You know, Lita," she said with a grimace. "This really has to be your best."

* * *

"Darien please? Say you'll do this job? For me?"

"God damn it, Melvin. You know what happened to me last time. I had my car stolen remember? It was found later in some run down street with the windows smashed and just about everything taken off it."

"But that was a one off! Please, man, I'm begging you. You're my best stripper and I know you're on leave at the moment, but I really, really need you to do this gig."

"No. I have a life, Melvin. And I really don't want to go back to that."

"What life, Dare? You've put your career as a doctor on hold, you loiter around in your suave apartment all day and you go to the gym like twenty- four seven. You have money pouring out of your idle ass. Dudes, I'm desperate. I need to earn a living. My agency is experiencing high staff turnover and I really need your help. Please? Do me a favor? Just this once?"

Staring into the freaky gray eyes of his good friend, Darien leaned back in the comfy swivel chair and folded his arms.

"What are they paying?"

"Five hundred dollars. An hour."

"_What?_" Darien exploded, his eyes bulging at the incredulous amount. "Five hundred dollars? _An hour?_ What, are they _stupid_?"

Looking suddenly sheepish, Melvin averted his gaze and began tapping his fingers on the table top. Recognizing the signs of his nervousness, Darien was immediately suspicious. The bastard was hiding something.

"What did you do, Melvin?"

"Well, I kind of put your profile back online..."

"_You what?"_

"You know a kind of blast from the past? I reposted your profile and you got snapped up in thirty seconds! The fastest time ever. So now that that's got your ego boosted up, get out there and make me proud!"

"Why are you speaking as if I've already accepted the job?" Darien asked through clenched teeth.

"Haven't you?" Melvin squeaked.

"No, you retard! I haven't!"

"But it's five hun-"

"Shut your hole. I'll call you back when I've made a decision," Darien snapped.

"But I need an answer-"

"Are you deaf? I said I'll call you."

"But Dar-"

Staring his friend down for an entire minute, Darien was satisfied when the man's mouth remained shut. As he rose from his chair, he smoothed down his hair and started for the door. "Later, Mel."

Aware of his friend staring forlornly at his retreating back, Darien sighed. Poor guy. He really did feel for him. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt if he took up the gig just this once? Pausing mid stride, he turned back and inwardly winced at his friend who immediately sat up from his dejected position and was watching him with an unhealthy degree of eagerness.

"When's the party?"

"Friday night."

"_What? _That soon?" Darien yelled.

"I know they were meant to book one week in advance, but I really needed the money so I thought it wouldn't matter,"

Raising his hand and squeezing the bridge of his nose, Darien sighed. "Honestly Melvin, I don't know how you got into business, but you totally suck. How am I going to find the time to practice my routine?"

"So you'll do it?" Melvin asked jumping up from his chair. "You'll really do it?"

Glaring at his friend as he grunted in response, Darien was thrown off balance as Melvin charged at him, jumping up and wrapping his legs around his waist.

"Thank you, thank you thank you!"

At the feel of wet lips on his cheek, Darien cried out in dismay and threw his friend off him. "Good damn it Melvin! You're gonna give me a rash!" He said rubbing hard at his cheek.

Too happy to care, Melvin lay sprawled on the floor, smiling like a drugged fool. He had managed to get the rent money and was prepared to stoop to any length to keep his friend in the business. If he could manage the feat, he could save his ass from going bankrupt. Crossing his fingers, he prayed.

A/N: Thanks guys for reading. Stay tuned for more!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm glad you're liking the story so far. A big thank you to the lovely reviewers and to the awesome hitters. Because of you I managed to get this chapter out as fast as I could. Hmmm...besides asking you to read this chapter, there's not much else to say. Oh, really hope you enjoy this chapter! I didn't feel like it was my best, so I apologize if it sounds really crap. To those who want to review tell me what you think! Thank you once again! Oh yes, the story is based in Melbourne.. yay Melbourne, and some of the venues are named. But whatever comes after the mentioned venue is either fictional or just an exaggeration. :D

**Chapter two: Coincidence? Nope, just the wheels of Fate**

"Hahahahahaha! I can't believe it, Darien! And I thought your stripping days were over! Hahahahahahahaha!"

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, Andrew. But this is the last time. If Melvin begs me again I'm going to turn him down flat," Darien muttered as he pulled at the strip of fabric up his ass, struggling to get comfortable with his long lost buddy. Generally not a preening, self-admiring man, standing in front of a full length mirror looking at his naked self clad in nothing but a G-string was weird, especially after it being so long since his last strip down. Yet, as he ran an assessing eye over his torso, he had to admit that he had no qualms about checking out his musculature. Moving his eyes down south, he winced at the craziness below the waist. It was time Big Jack and the boys lost the fro.

"So what happened?" Andrew asked still chuckling. "You're usually quite obstinate so, something must have triggered the yes response from you."

Shrugging his shoulders as he looked away from his nether regions, Darien blew the hair out of his eyes. "You should've seen his face. I don't think I've ever seen him look so desperate. I think he's in a bit of trouble, but the bastard's not breathing a word."

"So you volunteered, after vowing never to go back. How nice of you."

"I know," Darien grinned. "But to tell you the truth, I am a bit nervous. I haven't swiveled my hips in ages,"

"Whatever. Like you don't practice your moves in private, D. We all know how you like getting your ego stroked."

"What is it with everyone thinking I have this really big ego?" Darien demanded as he watched himself pump one muscled pectoral and then the other.

"Because it's true?" Andrew laughed. "So, stripper boy," he said teasingly. "Do you have a costume or something lined up?"

"No, no costume. Just a G-string."

"Ooh, going the full monty?"

"They're paying five hundred dollars, what do you expect?"

"Wow! That's some serious money,"

"I know, damn crazy."

"All proceeds going to Melvin?"

"Like I need the money," Darien laughed.

"You know, you could just give him the money without having to take your clothes off," Andrew said seriously. "Come back to your old job. I kind of miss us being the formidable duo."

"Aw, thanks for the offer," Darien smiled. "But I'll go back when I'm ready. Tell you the truth, I kind of like doing these random jobs. It's fun. You should try living outrageously for once."

"What and join you? No thanks. I've worked too hard to get to where I am."

"And you wonder why Rita thinks you're such a kill joy? You gotta live, Andrew. Life is too short."

"Yeah, yeah that's easy for you to say. Heard anything from Anne?"

Seeing the smile drop from his face in the reflection, Darien looked away from the mirror and to the window looking out onto the city.

"Not since she walked out on me a year and a half ago."

"Shit. That sucks," Andrew said sympathetically.

"Oh well." Darien shrugged. "I wasn't what she wanted. So here I am. Lonely and in love myself. Pathetic isn't it?"

"Definitely."

Sharing a laugh, Andrew abruptly changed the subject. "So D, what's your routine song?"

"Pony by Ginuwine."

"Ah, the typical corny yet horny song. A shame I can't sneak in and catch a glimpse of you in action. I've got a shift on Friday night at the hospital, but maybe we can go out for dinner and drinks tonight. I can come over to your place later and you can show me what you got."

"You sure you're going to be comfortable having a naked man's front and back wriggled in front of you?" Darien asked, smiling at the silence that ensued.

"On second thought..."

"I thought so," Darien laughed. "I didn't think you were up to seeing my hairy ass in you face. But a drink sounds damn fine to me. See you at the Pub for Cheap Tuesday drinks?"

"Hell yeah, see you at eight."

"See you at eight."

With a smile still lingering about his lips as he pressed the end button, Darien threw the phone onto his bed before moving towards his stereo system. Connecting the cable to his iPod, he scrolled down the list of songs found what he was looking for and put it on repeat. Turning the volume up on the stereo, he bounded back to the mirror just as the room boomed with the opening of the song.

Finishing her shift at the employment agency she worked for, Serena waited patiently at the elevator doors as she stared out the window, frowning at the sleets of rain beating against the office building. Grateful she wasn't working tonight, she leaned her head against the glass, not looking forward to the hour long drive to get home.

"Hey, Serena! You coming with me and the girls for drinks and dinner tonight?"

Tearing her gaze away from the horrible weather outside as she turned towards her red headed friend, Serena shrugged her shoulders.

"Hmmm...I don't know Mol. I don't have any shifts rostered at the aged care centre, though I'm not sure if I'm up to going out in this weather."

"Aw come on, you have to come," Molly begged. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to spend another night alone at home doing nothing."

"Actually, I won't be doing nothing Mol, I'll be able to relax and have some free time of my own. Lately I-"

"Lately she's been playing with the new bunny vibrator Rei got her from Japan," Lita interrupted, finishing the sentence as she came up from behind, drawing the blonde into a big bear hug as Serena flushed an unhealthy shade of red.

"That wasn't exactly what I was going to say," she squeaked, shooting Molly a sheepish look.

"Well that's not unusual," Molly grinned, aware of her discomfort. "I whip mine out on occasion."

"Okaaay, enough about the sex toys," Lita laughed. "What you ladies need is something real. A _real_ man to satisfy your carnal desires. And we're going out to find them."

"Ugh, not your match making skills again, Lita." Serena groaned. "I think you have poor Amy traumatized."

"Don't be silly, Serena. Amy's just picky. You know she's not interested in anyone unless they're as intelligent as she is,"

"So why don't you help her find them instead of choosing the dorks you usually go for?"

"What? I don't date dorks! Besides, enough on the subject. You're coming with us, Serena whether you want to or not."

"That means I have to drive home, shower, get changed and then drive back to the city. In this weather!" Serena whined. "You know I hate driving in this weather and I sure as hell don't appreciate you limiting my options Lita,"

"Well, suck it up sweet cheeks, and welcome to the meaning of having a social life," Lita stated.

"So where are we going?" Serena asked wearily.

"To the Pub at 8 pm. Cheap Tuesday, yay!" Lita cheered happily.

"Hey," Molly interrupted. "Didn't you get into a fight there the last time you went, Lita?"

"Yeah, I thought the girl was with my ex-boyfriend. Mistaken identity,"

"Mistaken identity my ass," Serena laughed just as the elevator doors opened. "Since I'm agreeing to come along this time, just try to stay out of trouble this time will you? Or I swear I'm never going out with you again."

"Serena, how can you say such a thing?" Lita gasped. "I always am on my best behavior!"

"Hmmm... now why do I find that so hard to believe?"

Waiting for the car to reverse out of the parking spot, Serena turned on her indicator and glanced in the rear mirror for any cars. Already ten minutes late, she waited patiently as the car slid out from the park and headed towards the exit of the complex. With her indicator still flashing, she went to move into the car space, but realized she was coming in at an odd angle. Deciding to reverse back into the park instead, she drove up a little and angled the car. Putting it in reverse, she was slowly maneuvering the vehicle into place when out of nowhere, a flashy black Mercedes came speeding up, sliding suavely into the park she was reversing into. Slamming on the brakes as she stared into her rear mirror in disbelief, she couldn't believe what had just happened.

Putting the car back into drive as she drove up and reversed at an angle that freed the right lane, she sat and stared at the driver who had gotten out of his car. Well dressed and well groomed, it was hard to believe the guy was such a prick! Feeling the rage boil in her blood, Serena honked her horn.

"Hey asshole!" she yelled, rolling down her window. "You took my park!"

Looking up at the irate female driver who was leaning out of the window and yelling at him, Darien frowned. "Who me?" he asked, pointing to himself as he locked his car.

"Yeah you, moron." Serena said through clenched teeth. "Who else did you think I was talking to?"

"Oh I'm sorry, you were just so rude, I thought you were talking to someone else,"

"Well, I'm sorry smart ass, but I need you to move your car, please." Serena said, trying to work her mouth into a smile as the man snorted.

"Yeah, like I'm going to do that," he said sarcastically. "I'd hate to break it to you honey, but first in, first served."

"Oh my God you so did not just say that."

"Listen lady, I don't know what the problem is, but let me part with you some common knowledge about this complex. There are over a thousand car spaces available. Find one and quit your bitching. Problem solved."

"Why you..."

Pleased to have the last word as the woman struggled for a witty comeback, Darien flashed her a grin as he sauntered off.

Feeling the blood run hot in her cheeks, Serena pressed down on the accelerator and followed, thinking how easy it would be to run him over and let his family and friends mourn his sorry death. But, since she didn't want to spend the rest of her life behind bars, she slowed to a crawl beside him, determined that she would have the last word.

"Hey prick face."

Breathing hard through his nose as he closed his eyes in annoyance, Darien swiveled his head towards the driver.

"What? I'm not moving my car so get over it!" He snapped.

"I just wanted to say something," Serena said undaunted by his sudden show of temper. "You think you rich people with your flashy cars are exempt from common parking rights and protocols? The next time you do that, you'd be lucky to be given a second to run for your life."

Giving him the finger as she sped off, Darien watched in disbelief as the speeding car disappeared up the ramp, the screeching of tyres on the new polished floor the only sound he could hear. What was happening to the women of this day and age? Were there no more polite and well-mannered women around? Feeling a headache coming on as he stalked towards the sliding doors, he was glad he wouldn't be seeing her again. If only he knew...

A/N: Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more as our favorite characters meet in the next chapter!


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